What Colors Your Life?

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Last night I spent several chilly hours hanging out with some photographer friends (that’s one of them above.  Do you see her shivering?).  We’d originally met to shoot at Nashville City Cemetary, but it was all locked up.  There was some group hesitation about scaling the fence so we wound up at Bicentennial Mall instead.  Now, it’s not the prettiest time of year to be shooting there (again, see above), but it didn’t really matter.  Why not?  Why would a relatively normal person wander around in frigid weather in a winter-denuded park that tends to get dangerous when the light fails and call it the best evening I’ve had in weeks?  Well, dinner at MAFIAoZA’s afterwords helped, but really, it boils down to one word:  PASSION.

While warming up, we talked over lasagna and pasta about what we love to shoot and why.  The specific answers don’t really matter (if you’re interested I can let you know my reasons in the comments, just ask).  It doesn’t even matter really whether we’re good at it or not.  It doesn’t matter how experienced we are.  Our group had wide-ranging photographic interests and experience levels…but we all have a passion for making images.  And sharing that passion with each other (and with you here) is a richly rewarding experience.

I vividly remember two distinct conversations with co-workers at Wieland Designs years ago.  During one I realized I really had no life beyond work (as I stammered with no answer to “What do you do for fun?”) and in another I struggled to come up with a single topic or interest I was passionate about.  At that time, I was so tired, so burned out, so relationally stressed, so out of touch with who I was and what moved me, that I couldn’t drum up an ounce of passion about anything at all.  And it had been that way for a very long time.  It’s a dreary, colorless way to live.

I’m on the road to recovery, I can list lots of things I’m passionate about now.  And one of them involves looking at life through my lens and capturing its moments and its people.  To my photographer friends across the country who share that passion and their friendship with me, thank you for a wonderful 2009.  To my local network of friends willing to brave cold weather, last minute arrangements and potentially “creepy people” to hang out and create magic (both images and camaraderie)…thank you for sharing your time, your stories, your passion, severe storms and beer and pizza with me.  To those of you who allow me to share my thoughts in this blog with you, you have my eternal gratitude.  Thanks for listening.

It’s the time of year for reflection and planning.  If you spend time doing that this week, consider your passions and how they interact with your goals and plans.  Is there room for passion in your world?  What moves you?  Create opportunities to do more of it!

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Treasure Tragedy and Joy

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Where do you find yourself this holiday?  I know people who are out of work and plagued by the oppressive worry of putting groceries on the table.  I know more than one family grieving the loss of several family members.  I know people enjoying a vacation with loved ones all around them.  I know families celebrating the birth of their first child.  In my world, it’s been an odd season.  There have been significant highs…quiet, silly, fun and meaningful moments with my son and with friends and family.  But there have been lows too…difficult business decisions, sickness and puking (ok, so if not particularly serious, it was at least particularly icky) and the first holiday without my boy present.

The antique Chinese farm baskets in the image above were in an alley outside a retail shop in North Carolina. They rested, one on another, along the alley wall.  All similar, but with their own subtle variations in shading and shape.  Individually, they were strong and functional.  Together, they created a rhythmic tapestry of texture, one that could accomplish much.

There are both tragic and joyful threads in our lives and they are woven together to make us beautiful, functional and strong people, should we allow it. I am grateful for both types of strands in my life today.  As those baskets leaned, rested with and were supported by the ones who touched them, so I am grateful for all of you who “do life” with me, whether in large or small ways, in person or online.  Thank you for your contribution to my weaving, you make it better, it would not be the same without you.

If you are celebrating a thread this season that is full of joy, plenty and love, then treasure this time.  Remember that you will not always be in a bountiful place and refuse to take it for granted.  If you are grasping a thread for dear life today, remember that this also will pass and contribute to the strength of your basket.  In either case, look around you and notice how the tragic and beautiful combine to create lasting weavings of strength and grace in our lives.

May you learn to treasure both tragedy and joy in your own life and may your holiday sparkle with the Gift that is Christmas!

Enjoy the holiday, my friends!

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Keep Me From Throwing Up This Christmas!

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If I hear the ubiquitous December greeting one more time this week, I think I’ll puke.  In the halls at my son’s school.  In the coffee shop.  In the library.  In front of the mailboxes.  At church.  In the grocery store.  You know what it is.  I’m willing to bet you’ve said it.

“How’s your Christmas shopping going?  Done yet?”  I know, I know, it’s a strictly social seasonal question.  When people meet this time of year, invariably it spills out.  No one really wants to know if you’re done.  They either want to brag that they’re ahead of the curve or they want the assurance that they aren’t the only family overwhelmed with details during December.  They want to commiserate.  Aunt Bertha is so difficult to buy for.  There are so many cousins.  Dad doesn’t need another tie.  There’s so much to do.  Directing and executing the production that Christmas has become does involve an overload of details, activities and money.

So, how can you save me from puking for the next week and a half?  Since I’m sure that’s high on your list of things to avoid (I know it is on mine), here are a few suggestions:

1.  SIMPLIFY.  It’s never too late.  If you’re overwhelmed with things to do before Christmas, make a list of it all and then eliminate at least 3/4 of the items.  Do it now.  Bring overload to a screeching halt…right now.  Buy less.  Bake less.  Decorate less.  Do less.  Your soul will thank you.  Take the emotional and physical space that elimination of detail creates and spend it laughing with your children.  Spend it cultivating a sense of wonder at the beauty and stillness of a starry night.  Spend it snuggling with your lover.  Make the season memorable, not for its busy-ness but by renewing the relationships that are meaningful to you.

2.  NOTICE.  Notice the beauty of twinkling lights.  Notice the excitement on children’s faces.  Notice how proud parents look when their four year old does not stand stage left and pick his nose at the school Christmas program like last year (wait, I might be veering off topic here).  Notice when your UPS guy looks tired.  Notice that the grandmother next door looks lonely.  Notice when the mom down the street looks overwhelmed.  Why?  Because noticing requires a few key things.  It means you’ll slow down your own pace and focus on other people.  Simply slowing down and noticing the beauty in the details of the season will feed your senses and renew your spirit.

3.  RESPOND.  You’ve freed up your time and energy and are noticing the people around you.  Now use some of that freedom to respond to their needs.  What would give the UPS guy a lift?  Can you share a cup of coffee with the lonely grandmother?  Could you watch the young mom’s children for the five or ten minutes it might take her to unload the car?  Find a way to give the gift of your responsive heart once a day to someone who isn’t expecting it, hasn’t asked for it, and may not even deserve it.

4.  GREET people in a new way.  If you do the above three things, then you’ll have more than enough reason to share the joy that should be the hallmark of the season with the overstressed folks that want to know how your Christmas shopping is going.  “Oh, that’s the least of my worries, I’ve had a great week giggling with my kids every night, sharing the real meaning of Christmas with my neighbors and looking at the lights reflected in my partner’s eyes. It’s already been a very merry Christmas.”

Well, that might not really win you points with people who just want to let you know how stressed they are, but it sure will make your season bright.  And if  hear you, it will keep me from gagging.  I’m going to go snuggle my son and gaze at Christmas tree lights.  What are you going to do?  HINT:  Make that list…

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What do you see when you back up?

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There are certain things best seen from a distance.  Large things.  The Grand Canyon.  The Golden Gate Bridge.  The New York City skyline.  Without distance, pieces are all you can take in.  This is a massive Christmas tree at Opryland Hotel.  There’s a beautiful view of it from an overlook and as you look from that distance you can take in the whole view.  You can see how it fits into its surroundings.  You can watch the water reflect the lights and the fountains disrupt that reflection.  You can see how it’s set in a perfect location and surrounded by the other trees and plants and decorations.  From this point, it draws you in, it’s a foregone conclusion. As people get to this location in the gardens, they are pulled to that tree.  From this vantage point you can watch it happen.  Visitors from all directions converge on that tree.

We’re in full swing of the busy holiday season, but small business marketing dude David Johnson of Epiphany Marketing reminded me this week that what you do now lays the foundation for your January success.  He was speaking in terms of business…the plans we make now, the strategies we put in place dramatically affect our first quarter of 2010.  On a personal level, many of you will be thinking about New Year’s Resolutions in a few weeks after the bedlam of shopping and opening subsides. Don’t wait until you’ve had too many cookies and eggnog  to think about 2010.  Not only will it be too late, but sugar comas are bad for clear thinking.

Now–during mid-December, find a way to set some quiet time aside to mentally back up from your life and gain some perspective.  Take a look at the big picture…

  • Where are you?
  • Look around.  How do you fit in your surroundings?
  • What do you reflect to the people around you?
  • What gets in the way?  What disrupts a good reflection?
  • Are people drawn to you and your life?  Why or why not?

These aren’t the standard “review your life” questions and in reality (especially if this is new to you), the actual questions and answers are not the most important thing.  The critical thing is the exercise in perspective.

What do you see when you back up?

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How Thankful Will You Be Tomorrow?

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Today is Thanksgiving and like many people, one of the things I am most thankful for is the life of my son.  I don’t often post family images on this blog, but I feel strongly that it’s important to build a thankful heart into ourselves and our children…all year round.  Celebrating the reasons we have to be thankful on a national holiday is a wonderful thing.  I love seeing twitter posts and facebook status updates telling the world what we value.  But, for me, a more important aspect of giving thanks is the one-on-one telling of that story throughout the year that weaves a tapestry of value around the people we care about.

There are a few really simple ways to cultivate a thankful heart in both you and your children.

PAUSE. We live at breakneck pace. Make a point to slow down and look around you.  Really notice the things, but especially the people you’re thankful for.

REFLECT. What do those people mean to you?  To your life?  To your past and future?  Where would you be without them?

SHARE. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you.  How have they impacted your life today?  Say thank you.  My son and I do this every night before bed.  “What are you thankful for today?”  The answer with him varies from the mundane (my bed, windows, trains) to the profound (that you’re my mommy…well, if not profound at least meaningful to me).  It doesn’t have to be complicated or profound.  Simplicity is fine…focus on being authentic.  If the only thing you can feel thankful about your teenager that day is that everyone survived…then let them know.  “Oh Evil One, today wasn’t so good…but I”m still thankful you’re part of my life and I love you.”

REPEAT. The bedtime answers from my son on any given day aren’t the important thing.  The critical thing is the habit it creates.  My intent is to teach him an outlook of counting his blessings, of thanking God for what he has and of speaking value into the ones he loves.  So, do this everyday at least once.  We tend to do it randomly throughout the day as well.  “Wow, I really appreciate how helpful you were with that chore, I’m thankful for your help!”

This four step process can take less than a minute.  But over a lifetime of the people you love, the impact of building an attitude of thankfulness and telling the ones we love how much we value them goes far beyond a minute a day.

An interesting side benefit is that a thankful heart spills over into all other relationships.  You begin looking for ways to thank your co-workers, your hair stylist and your waitress.  The impact of being genuinely thanked for something can be much larger than the effort it took to speak the thank you.  Noticing and appreciating someone’s contribution to your day can go a long way toward making theirs.

How thankful is your heart when the turkey and pumpkin pie are long gone?

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What is RSS?

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RSS is a way to get all the stuff you want to see in one place and updated with no effort on your part. Sound good? If you read several blogs or other frequently-updated sites, if you’ve subscribed to them by email and your inbox is cluttered or if you’d like to keep track of a number of blogs but don’t ever et around to checking to see if they’ve been updated…then RSS may be your new best friend.

The publisher of the site you want to keep track of creates a “feed” and when you subscribe to that feed, you get automatic updates whenever sonething new has been published.   You read those in a “feed reader” or aggregator.  There are a lot of options for readers, the most popular today being Google Reader.  Personally, I use Netvibes because I like the interface better.  But they’re generally free, offer you ways to organize your feeds and mark them as read once you’ve looked at them.  I have Firefox open Netvibes every time I start it and then its simple to glance to see if something is new.  Or, if I’m overwhelmed, to ignore it for days on end (no, are you kidding, I would never ignore your blog!!  I was talking about boring news sites of course…).

Is there a down side?  Well, one of the great things about a blog is the interaction within the comments and you don’t see them in a reader.  You can click on the feed to get to the actual post, but it does take a slight effort.  And, well, you do have to actually read your feeds.

So, go get yourself a feed reader, subscribe to my feed (of course!) and a few others and try it out!

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It Ain’t Your Mama’s Poster

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Do you remember that 80′s “Hang In There” poster of the kitty gripping the branch?  Probably dates me.  Very pre-lolcats.  This shot reminds me of that poster, but updated for today.  Our world isn’t static. It’s changing at breakneck speed all around us.

What do you have your arms wrapped around?  Is it able to support your weight?

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Are You Living From a Lawn Chair?

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It’s a big, wide world out there.  Really big!  There are fields to explore, treasures to find beneath your feet, trees to climb, both close, dark passages and light-filled open places.  There’s underbrush to pick your way through (trying to avoid thorns) and wide gravel paths to follow.  There are trees and hills beyond your sight and beautiful moments poised to happen.

How do you see your life?  With the wonder and adventurous spirit of a child?  Are you engaged with your landscape?  Or have you staked out a permanent spot and planted a lawn chair?   There are too many wonderful things waiting to be discovered out there!  I recommend two essentials:  a sense of wonder and a good friend.  If you’ve misplaced either one…find them and then get out there and start exploring!

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What’s She Thinking? (fiction)

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Get your camera out of your face. Dude. You are HOT. C’mon, let me take your picture; I’m all zoomed and ready. Put the box down, good. Ok. Now, stand up and look at me. Don’t walk away. Hey! Dangit, you’re spoilin’ my chance at a good brag and some eye candy. Where ya goin’? Ummm. You forgot your box there. Hey. What’s in the box?

So…what do YOU say she’s thinking?

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Ever Feel Empty? Have You Tried a Pumpkin?

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I’ve been meaning to feed you a lighter post this week, since I’ve been fairly intense about things for a few weeks.  But, for some strange reason sleeplessness, a ten day infection and a four-year-old’s constant begging for Halloween loot has just chased the funny all out of me tonight.  Instead, I’m thinking about emptiness.

Usually, these posts start with an image and how it intersects with what I’m thinking about, how it makes me feel or how I felt taking it.  But driving to a friend’s house for holiday festivities Halloween afternoon, the sun came out.  Now, if you live in Seattle this is a big deal.  I don’t live in Seattle.  But, Middle Tennessee has decided this year to have a run at the number of consecutive months it can claim are the “rainiest on record” and the sun coming out was a welcome surprise.  It made the foliage colors shine brilliantly.  The catch was that it also made it quite evident that the trees are generally past their prime and the dull, grey rain has masked the progression of Fall in my part of the world.  I started thinking about empty tree branches.

My son got tired of dragging around his sugar collection receptacle and decided that this tree would be a great place to park it.  The leaves are mostly fallen and drifted off to parts unknown.  I wonder how that feels as they fall off and blow away?  A tree produces those leaves, works a season for them, transforms them into beautiful fluttering gems and then watches them die, leaving barren emptiness behind in the cold.  I’m obviously anthropomorphizing and I know it, but I’m feeling a bit like that empty tree at the moment.

That crazy-faced pumpkin bag is empty too.  But, it holds the anticipation and immanent promise of being filled with sugar and smiles.  Of holding fun and fond memories for its companion.

Both empty.  Completely different emotions.  Hang your crazy-faced bag on the tree.  Invite anticipation.  Emptiness is a temporary phase.

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