If I hear the ubiquitous December greeting one more time this week, I think I’ll puke. In the halls at my son’s school. In the coffee shop. In the library. In front of the mailboxes. At church. In the grocery store. You know what it is. I’m willing to bet you’ve said it.
“How’s your Christmas shopping going? Done yet?” I know, I know, it’s a strictly social seasonal question. When people meet this time of year, invariably it spills out. No one really wants to know if you’re done. They either want to brag that they’re ahead of the curve or they want the assurance that they aren’t the only family overwhelmed with details during December. They want to commiserate. Aunt Bertha is so difficult to buy for. There are so many cousins. Dad doesn’t need another tie. There’s so much to do. Directing and executing the production that Christmas has become does involve an overload of details, activities and money.
So, how can you save me from puking for the next week and a half? Since I’m sure that’s high on your list of things to avoid (I know it is on mine), here are a few suggestions:
1. SIMPLIFY. It’s never too late. If you’re overwhelmed with things to do before Christmas, make a list of it all and then eliminate at least 3/4 of the items. Do it now. Bring overload to a screeching halt…right now. Buy less. Bake less. Decorate less. Do less. Your soul will thank you. Take the emotional and physical space that elimination of detail creates and spend it laughing with your children. Spend it cultivating a sense of wonder at the beauty and stillness of a starry night. Spend it snuggling with your lover. Make the season memorable, not for its busy-ness but by renewing the relationships that are meaningful to you.
2. NOTICE. Notice the beauty of twinkling lights. Notice the excitement on children’s faces. Notice how proud parents look when their four year old does not stand stage left and pick his nose at the school Christmas program like last year (wait, I might be veering off topic here). Notice when your UPS guy looks tired. Notice that the grandmother next door looks lonely. Notice when the mom down the street looks overwhelmed. Why? Because noticing requires a few key things. It means you’ll slow down your own pace and focus on other people. Simply slowing down and noticing the beauty in the details of the season will feed your senses and renew your spirit.
3. RESPOND. You’ve freed up your time and energy and are noticing the people around you. Now use some of that freedom to respond to their needs. What would give the UPS guy a lift? Can you share a cup of coffee with the lonely grandmother? Could you watch the young mom’s children for the five or ten minutes it might take her to unload the car? Find a way to give the gift of your responsive heart once a day to someone who isn’t expecting it, hasn’t asked for it, and may not even deserve it.
4. GREET people in a new way. If you do the above three things, then you’ll have more than enough reason to share the joy that should be the hallmark of the season with the overstressed folks that want to know how your Christmas shopping is going. “Oh, that’s the least of my worries, I’ve had a great week giggling with my kids every night, sharing the real meaning of Christmas with my neighbors and looking at the lights reflected in my partner’s eyes. It’s already been a very merry Christmas.”
Well, that might not really win you points with people who just want to let you know how stressed they are, but it sure will make your season bright. And if hear you, it will keep me from gagging. I’m going to go snuggle my son and gaze at Christmas tree lights. What are you going to do? HINT: Make that list…
